Tuesday, 17 April 2012

All humans are lonely

Now, today is one of those days (Monday) …when at night I’m suddenly caught by a major flow of thoughts and I accidently tumbled on a few more interesting ones. One of them being about myself (to which I found an answer actually (one that satisfied me at least) ) and the other one being ….written here right now. The first one we’ll go around like nothing was mentioned (obviously). Now….we humans are all alone from birth to death aren’t we? We are truly forever lonely, indeed we are. What do I mean by that statement?

What I’m trying to say here is that….universally, we are all lonely. As in, no one will fully understand us...individuals. Not fully…ever. You can understand a person in a way. Know his hobbies, his character more or less. His likes and dislikes, sometimes even more. Sometimes people know each other so well, that they can predict each others future actions. But even then, we are still not fully understood.

A full and complete understanding. Isn’t that what a lot of people are trying to achieve in reality? All that spiritual mumbo-jumbo is about “being one with the universe” and shit like that (“shit” in a non-offensive way of course. Just a figure of speech). We want to be fully and completely understood, to our very core and essence whatever it may be. Be it the subconscious or the spirit. Whatever you believe in.

The very act of sexual intercourse can sometimes (or a lot of times…even most of the times!)  be interpreted like an attempt to be one with the other. To achieve such a high level closeness, that they become one and can fully understand each other. (Why do you think people use such phrases like “enter me!” “Come inside me!” or whatever. Each has a hint of what I’m trying to say here) (or it could be just plain dirty talk)

Now…our desperate need to be understood and the attempt to escape loneliness could be seen in many parts of our life. Actually…it could be seen in life…generally speaking or in society to be more precise. Why do you think todays’ society formed in the first place? Why are we people called “social creatures”?  The answers are in the first sentence.

We run from loneliness by interacting with other individuals, forming bonds, communities and social relationships, constantly looking for someone to fully understand us and even if we don’t, most of us settle with the closest thing possible. That’s the “second half” myth. Or perhaps the truth. Who knows…there are too many opinions and experiences to say.

(Please do have in mind that this is only one of the reasons why we create such a thing as “society” etc. As there isn’t just one reason behind all of it)

Villages, towns, cities ...countries and the world as we know it formed because we need each other, even though in reality we’re probably even better without each other. Because then we could live without realizing that the thing we need most… can’t be fully reached. If there would be no society, perhaps we would live alone in some cave up in the mountains and live until we die with the thought that “perhaps” or even “I could have found that, which I crave so much”. But now…we die after finding out that it’s impossible to achieve or thinking that we failed. The feeling of helplessness and hopelessness is truly dreadful.

Well ok, those two options are a little too narrow, because not a lot of people die thinking like that ( probably). Since there are a few other options’ that make living in society worthwhile. The first one is when we live and die without realizing that we can’t reach that, which we desperately try to. As in…for all of our life we search - break up relationships and make new ones, divorce and marry again. Always on the move, always in search. And the second one is that we live with the illusion that we indeed have reached that complete mutual understanding (sorry if I just destroyed that…welcome to the club of the previously mentioned option). Now both of them sound quite harsh, but hey….as someone quite smart once said “ignorance is bliss”. And so it is sometimes. Or at least…in this situation.

Now to wrap everything up, I’d like to use a very used up phrase, which has been run down by millions and will be by another one (person...not million). And that phrase is “We live together, die alone”. Now there are a LOT of interpretations of this phrase, some of them non-official, a few or even a single one agreed upon by most. But let’s try to interpret it again.

Now, I read it and what do I see? What do I understand? If being straightforward, I’d say that it’s all wrong, and it should sound like this “We live alone and die alone”. Because that reflects reality a lot better, from my perspective at least. Since we never live “together”. We are always lonely, forever until the end, even though we try to change that.

But. When I look at the phrase again, I start to see it from a different angle and adapt it to everything I wrote right here. We indeed live together, or try to at least. We live together with each other, sharing a common thing in every single individual – loneliness. And we all try to escape from it, using each other to cover up the holes. Every single person guided by their own selfishness, to try and help himself and in turn, help the other. An equal exchange if you ask me. It might come from an instinct that people are not that fond off, but it gives results sometimes.

Too bad, but eventually we die without reaching our promised land, as lonely as we were born we leave this world and go to a better place I guess. Whatever it may or may not be. Now religion helps here a little bit. That’s why the idea of going to heaven after death is so alluring to most. The meaning behind the word “heaven” is very wide indeed and there are a lot of interpretations, opinions about it. The general idea is that you will be happy there. And thus a lot of us are probably lured to it, since they hope to escape that inborn loneliness once on the other side. And that is why we try to grab that last visible thread at the end of our lives, hoping to get that, which we didn’t have through-out the journey we call living.

But since I’m feeling quite generous today…

Everyone, together with everyone we die alone. Together with everyone we live alone.
See where I’m trying to go with that? That perhaps, we are never really lonely. By sharing a common goal and living, while desperately clinging to any possibility visible in our sights, just to fill up that large hole in ourselves, we actually live “together”. As in we are not lonely as long, as we’re not the only ones’ being lonely. As they say…two minuses make a plus. And so in this case…more or less. Just a thought.

I’ll end it with this and as a finishing touch add the phrase that gives so many perspectives, and so many thoughts. Good night or good morning. ( or have a pleasant day…)

We live together, die alone.